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I normally Internet stalk my online dating connections pretty thoroughly.

But life had gotten busy, and for a few days I was swiping right on Coffee Meets Bagel without my normal due diligence. Both seemed nice, but I was having trouble keeping them...

Wait for them to come to you.”The advice came from my dear friend Jennifer, who has a stepfamily of her own and understands that it takes time and patience to blend and bond. Months later, in a quiet moment, I told the girls as much, and let them know it’s OK to have any range of feelings about all this.

They bicker and I remain silent, allowing him to parent as he sees fit.

“I know it’s against your nature,” she said,”but when it comes to his kids, be a cat, not a dog. (Beth Reno)David’s daughters are sweet and smart, loving and funny and generous and affectionate … I tried to relax, think of the stretch of time ahead of us, remind myself there’s no rush.

You’re going to want to hug them and bond with them, but it’ll be better if you relax and hang back. I had already fallen in love with their father, so what would I do if they didn’t like me? “He’s a director,” I told my friend L., absently fiddling with the lighter in my hand. Because my own parents are divorced, I know what it’s like when Dad has a girlfriend.

For me, however, progress has come only with a practice of restraint: Relax like a cat and take a step back.

The first time I attended a school play, David’s daughter came out after the show.

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