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Women have four different reactions to a man's impotence, says Margaret Ramage, a sexual relationship therapist. But it's a woman's despair especially because, says Fiona Hanlock, very often there is much more lost than just the obvious."I was sure my partner was seeing someone else," said 30-year-old Susan."We'd always had a great sex life and then suddenly it stopped, just like that."Some people are no good at making love and never have been and struggle with it throughout their married life, thinking it has to be done because that's what's expected of you in a marriage." And fourth is the feat that there's something seriously wrong with her man - that he must be suffering from diabetes, or working too hard."My husband's been to see three sex therapists," says 49-year-old Jane, married to a man who has been impotent for eight years.I was always accusing him, and he would promise me that he had nothing on the side, but I honestly couldn't believe him." Third is the feeling of relief if the woman never enjoyed sex in the first place."Sometimes it can be a relief for both partners," says Margaret Ramage.

They don't realise that sex has a lot more to do with intimacy than an erect penis or even bed. Just because you don't achieve penetration doesn't mean you have no sex life.' It's the partnerships in which all intimacy is cut out that often break up, not because of the lack of an erection." Part of the problem is that some men, most of whom see sex in terms of performance, cannot understand that most women see sex in terms of their relationship.So, now there are places people can go if they want companionship and don’t want to ‘do the deed’ or just can’t..action_button.action_button:active.action_button:hover.action_button:focus.action_button:hover.action_button:focus .count.action_button:hover .count.action_button:focus .count:before.action_button:hover .count:before.u-margin-left--sm.u-flex.u-flex-auto.u-flex-none.bullet. With long- term problems it's found that many cases of impotence have a medical basis, so partners are often right to worry that their men are ill.It turned out that Jane's husband had diabetes, though not before he'd been to one sex counsellor who encouraged him to ask his wife to "dress up in sexy clothes and have sex in unusual places, like in a country lane". He was then told to stop all caressing and touching for 10 weeks and then gradually to start massaging each other.

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