Expecting who you are dating to be monogamous
When my husband met up with my son and me outside the store he was aghast.He said, “You’re going to end up getting ME into fights with this stuff, too, you know.”He explained to me the pressure upon a man, particularly a husband and father, to step in and defend us.Men DO need to stand up to other men when they see abuse, sexism, or harassment in action.
Solution: First and foremost, we need systemic fixes to these huge problems.”In my generation, guys talked about which girls were “wife material” and which girls were “f**k-able”.You’re supposed to be hot, you’re supposed to entice guys, but not supposed to actually enjoy or want sex with them.He asked, “What would happen if I just walked away while this guy yelled at you? You may not have minded, but I would feel like a failure, and most of the people watching would’ve seen me as an asshole, a wimp, or a bad husband and dad.”It is a really tough situation, as women are generally smaller and less able to protect ourselves, and we often do not possess the social capital to advocate for ourselves to men the way other men can due to the remnants of patriarchy.That’s why we often call on men to stand up to other men when it comes to problems like street harassment and rape.
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When it comes to relationships, even the standard for how a date should unfold is shifting rapidly.